My friend phoned from the airport saying ‘the Taliban is on its way. Pack your bags, life has ended for us’

“Afghans and Muslims, we believe that humans are born from clay. We have a saying that everybody’s clay has come from a country, and the person will feel comfortable there. I think my clay is from here,” Manizha Khan says, reflecting on her time living in Ireland.

Khan has lived in Ireland since December 2021, after fleeing life under Taliban rule in Afghanistan.

A child in the 1980s in Herat, a city in western Afghanistan, Khan grew up with “the sound of bombs” as the Soviet-Afghan war took place around her.

[ Afghan women set up secret businesses to escape Taliban bans ]

Her family moved to Kabul, the capital, to escape the worst of the conflict, “but only three years later we were forced to leave there too and become refugees in Iran and then Pakistan,” she recalls.

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The family remained in Pakistan for almost 17 years before returning to Afghanistan in 2004.

Men would say to us while at work: ‘If you don’t want us flirting with you, then why are you here? You should be at home’

“I studied my bachelor’s in sociology in Pakistan. When I was back in Afghanistan, I wanted to continue my studies, but it was difficult because those who studied in other countries had to go through a very long process. So I started teaching English in a school for girls. It was very fun and my English was very good compared to others,” Khan says.

But it was “very difficult to cope” in Afghanistan as a young woman. “It was such a male-dominant society and the Taliban, during their years of power, had changed the people’s mentalities, so the men looked at us badly. I grew up more free in Pakistan,” she says.

“Men would say to us while at work: ‘If you don’t want us flirting with you, then why are you here? You should be at home’.

Ep 557 Women Under The Taliban: Afghanistan’s former Minister for Women’s Affairs Hasina Safi

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“I realised that if I wanted to work as a respectable woman in Afghanistan I would have to be a teacher or a lecturer or a similar job. I studied dentistry and I became a lecturer in paediatric dentistry. Then I became dean of the dentistry school at a university,” Khan says.

There began a period of happiness for Khan, but after the US began withdrawing their forces from Afghanistan in 2021, and the Taliban moved rapidly to take back control of the entire country, life changed for the worse “once again”, she says.

“I will never forget it. It’s still fresh just like yesterday,” she recalls.

[ ‘Staying at home and doing nothing is like gradually dying’: Shut out of jobs, Afghan women retrain as nurses ]

Life had been “great”, with the sun shining and things going on as normal. Khan and her family were making plans for holidays and building their home. The economy was improving, and “everything felt good”.

But at the end of July a friend called Khan from the airport to say goodbye.

“Talibs are on their way,” Khan’s friend whispered, telling Khan to “pack your bags, life has ended for us”.

Khan didn’t believe her friend at first, but when it became clear the Taliban were launching an offensive, Khan was devastated.

Afghanistan is now just a nation of men. Girls are at home, watching their male classmates graduate. Their only option left is to become brides to the Taliban

“Since then everything has changed. I am not in Afghanistan any more, but my heart is always there,” she says.

Khan feels she is “one of the lucky ones”, having been able to escape the war-torn country.

Women who remain there are “not so lucky”, she says, with “every door locked to them”.

“Afghanistan is now just a nation of men. Girls are at home, watching their male classmates graduate. Their only option left is to become brides to the Taliban.”

Khan was determined at first to remain in Afghanistan, within the career she had worked hard for. She hoped when universities and schools closed in the early weeks of Taliban rule, it “would not last”.

“I tried continuing to go to work, but I faced a lot of harshness and threats. At first, I was no longer invited to meetings I normally attended. Then I wasn’t even allowed to enter the gates. Then my life was threatened if I continued to go back to the job. They said they would kill my husband and kidnap my daughter.”

“I finally gave up,” Khan says.

[ The world ignores Afghan women on and off the football pitch ]

Khan and her family knew they had to leave, and spent some time “hiding in Kabul until we were able to go”. She and her family then secured visas to come to Ireland and arrived in December 2021.

“In the beginning it was a big shock because of what had happened to us. I felt like I was just on my toes always ready for anything bad to happen,” Khan says.

“I was struggling every minute of the day. But when I reached Ireland I was relieved. I remember there was an orange level storm that day, but to be honest, it was lovely for us because we could finally breathe that we’re somewhere safe.”

Khan says she felt at home in Ireland because she “always loved rain and greenery”, and she feels “everyone is accepted here”.

“A family gave us their home here for a few months. It was so kind of them. Then we found somewhere else to live. I managed to start work here as a dentist, and I have a radio show,” she says.

Khan presents a radio show called My Life in a Suitcase at University College Cork’s UCC 98.3FM, which has allowed her to “meet so many new people”.

“It focuses on refugees and asylum seekers, especially women. I highlight their problems and progress. I want to change the mentality of people towards refugees who come to Ireland,” she says.

The podcast has allowed her to “meet so many people from different backgrounds and countries” and it gives Khan “hope that I’m not alone”.

Khan tries to “raise my voice for Afghan women” and other women in difficult circumstances, she continues.

Women in Afghanistan are still “living their worst nightmare” almost two years on, she adds.

August 15th, 2021, the day on which the Taliban took over Kabul, was the “darkest day in history”, Khan says. But Afghan women “must be strong”.

“There are so many other brave women who came to Ireland, and they’re working really hard to make a life for themselves and their families. They also all have the same feeling of loss that I have, because even when you make a new life, you always have a space in your heart for the place you left.”

We would like to hear from people who have moved to Ireland in the past 10 years. To get involved, email newtotheparish@irishtimes.com or tweet @newtotheparish