How to be self-disciplined: ‘Choose what you want most over what you want now’

Discipline – it doesn’t sound like much fun, does it? It can conjure ideas around rules and restrictions. But discipline can be a good thing, says personal development expert Moira Geary. Discipline can set us free.

“Discipline can be described as choosing between what you want now and what you want most,” says Geary.

Sure, it’s fun to sit at your desk and browse cat memes, but that doesn’t get the work done. You may end up working longer to compensate. That eats into your time to do the things you really want to do.

“Discipline can be derailed when we opt for immediate gratification or comfort,” says Geary.

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“Years ago, I didn’t like the word ‘discipline’. I felt it was very constricting and tight, but actually as the years have gone on, to me, discipline ultimately means freedom.

“Stick with the thing, do it, get it done and at the end of the day you will get the freedom.”

What’s your north star?

Being clear about what it is you really want can help you be more disciplined, says Geary.

Maybe you want to complete something so you can finish work on time, maybe you want to be fit enough to run a 10km, or you’d simply really love to have a clean house?

“In areas where you want to achieve something, it’s important to be clear about your north star,” says Geary. “Be really clear on that and be sure that your desire to reach it is high. That’s really important and it will help to keep you on the rails.”

“Choose what you want most, over what you want now,” says Geary. “Don’t opt for immediate gratification but rather look at your longer-term desires.”

Make it compelling

Your goal has to be a compelling one, otherwise your focus can go out the window.

“It’s important that it is something that you really want, because if it isn’t, then absolutely, the discipline will go,” says Geary. “The next thing is to break down how you achieve it into small tasks or into specific time frames,” she says.

Set yourself up to succeed

There are things you can do to help you stay disciplined so that you can achieve your long term-goals, says Geary.

“That can mean turning notifications ‘off’ on your phone or email, and also letting people know that you don’t want to be disturbed.

“Often, we don’t want to be rude and we will speak to people if they disturb us, but if they know you have set that boundary, that can be very helpful.”

An accountability partner, someone who checks in on your progress can be very helpful to keep you on track.

Consistency is key to achieving long term goals too, she says.

“That means every day you do something, or every couple of hours you do something. Whatever it is, you decide on what the consistency is going to be and you stick to it.”

If you feel something is stopping you from succeeding, acknowledge that and seek help to avoid getting overwhelmed.

Celebrate success

When being disciplined helps you achieve your goals, celebrate that, says Geary.

“Acknowledge each milestone along the way. It’s important to remind yourself that you are getting there and to celebrate.”

Discipline can give you the time to do the things you want to do, or achieve the things you want to achieve, she says.

“It can give you a sense of achievement and it can give you more free time too.”